Monday, January 17, 2011

Pardon My Rant

Allow me a moment to climb onto my soapbox and address the following trends:

1. Antlers
I'm not a vegan, vegetarian, PETA member, anti-hunting, etc, but I don't think antlers look classy.  They are the last thing I'd want in my house.  Period.

2. Faux Deer Heads
And that also goes for the trend of mounting faux deer heads too.  Funny how there were NO paper mache deer left in the craft stores after Christmas because everyone thought it was a great idea to saw the heads off them and glue them to a wood plaque.  Then paint the whole mess white.  Ick!

3. Numbers on Everything
Where did this come from?  It might work in a toddler's room.  I say don't put it anywhere else in your house, unless you are catering your decor for a three-year-old who can't count.

(No, I didn't add numbers to my favorite lamp!)

4. "Keep Calm and Carry On"
Darling, you've worn out your welcome.

5. Painting Kitchen Cabinets
Let's stop hating on the oak.  Now, I know golden oak is out, out, out.  And I've got it all over my circa 1993 house.  Yeah, I'd love to replace the kitchen with a more contemporary wood and stain.  But I don't think too many kitchens are so hidious that painting wood cabinets in GOOD condition green, yellow or teal is a good long term improvement.  It will look awful when the paint gives out.  Or that color goes out of style.  Kitchen cabinets are ex-pen-sive.  Switch out the hardware and call it a day.

6. Painting Wood Furniture without Regard to Style
I saw before/after photos on a popular blog recently, and I kid you not, I thought they switched the photos.  It was a sideboard that was green and it looked colonial and classic.  Then someone got their mits on it, painted it bright yellow and decoupaged blue birds on the doors.  Someday, it's going to be sitting on the curb and people will walk by and shudder.

7. The Moustache Motif
It was funny the first time.  Now it's giving me the heebies.  Just. go. away. NOW!

8. Religious Objects As Superficial Decorating Accessories
If you are Catholic, by all means, hang a crucifix on your wall.  If you are a serious scholar and collector, you get a pass if you display religious artifacts.  But, I noticed a lot of santos, religious icons and crucifixes in home decor boutiques lately.  Ballard Design has even gotten in on this action with their santos dollmaker forms.  It's like the Buddha trend from a couple of years ago.  If you have it in your home because you believe it and it is the guiding force of your life, you have my blessing.  Religion is serious stuff.  People have laid down their lives for their beliefs.  And still do.  It's not a fashion accessory, poser.

9. Chalkboard Paint on Everything
Especially tabletops. Why on creation would you want smeary, dusty looking furniture?  Keep the chalkboard paint on actual chalkboards.

10. Chandeliers EVERYWHERE
Like laundry rooms.  Get over yourself already.

I'm climbing off my soapbox now.  Thanks for listening.


  1. I couldn't agree with you more about a few of these. If I see anymore items numbered, I'm going to scream. Oh, you have 4 pots? Let's number them 1, 2, 3, & 4! Painting with chalkboard paint is gross. I'm sorry, but I don't want chalk dust and debris all over my floor to clean up every time we want to write a silly message on the wall.

    I agree about the kitchen cabinets to a certain extent. Mine are knotty '70s pine (so nasty) and while I'd never paint them some silly color like bright blue, I'm going to paint them white to make them look a bit more modern.

  2. I agree with #4 ...I don't even get it in the first place LoL!! and never even saw #7 til I started blogging ..2 months ago..its cute but I have NEVER seen it on a real item out in the real world!!
    Venting is good :)

  3. oh heather, you are too funny! this post cracked me up!
    thanks for your visit and comment on my blog today. (i tried to hit reply, and you come up as a non-blogger, so i'm leaving you a message here).
    nice to 'meet' you!

  4. HaHaHa!!!You are too funny!Regarding #5 and #6.....I LOVE painted kitchens and always have, but I have a REALLY difficult time even thinking about painting over a good wood finish. So many of the things you mentioned seem so contrived, and that's not the kind of home I want to have. Thanks for stopping by my blog and for the nice comment. I definitely want to get back to using my silver and nice things I have! I was thinking about that as I was polishing it!

  5. Thanks for the laugh and I agree with on some of it; especially number 8. I think the decor in your home should mean something to you and not just be there because it is a popular trend.

  6. You forgot the burlap/grain sack trend. And slipcovers. The problem is, many bloggers are losing themselves in the home decor blogosphere. I've seen some beautiful homes go bad, real, real bad, when trying to mimic some of these trends. Stay true to yourselves people!

  7. Ha! Too funny! That last picture cracked me up. I love chandeliers (but I would never consider one in the laundry room!) And the numbering thing ... yeah. Does no one else see the hilarity in putting pillows on your sofa that say No. 1 and No. 2?

  8. Hi Heather-

    First off I just love this post and can't agree with you more. Trends are so silly and I sometimes think manufacturers sit around and think what silly thing can we come up with while they sit back and laugh as they watch the masses buy it and the money roll in. I cannot stand the antlers and deer heads as well as a few other trendy items. I love to see original and unique. It is nice to know that I am not alone.

    On another note, I wanted to thank you for the nice comment you left for me about leaving my job. Living with so much stress is just as you stated, not the life you imagined yourself living. Thanks for telling me your story and I hope you are enjoying your life now.
    My best- Diane

  9. Great post! I agree with every one of them, tho I'd add to #1 - dead animals in general.

  10. Ooohhh, I am SO w/you on almost everything, especially the deer heads, the numbers, the 'keep calm' art and the chandeliers! Had to step out when you talked about painting kitchen cabinets, though. I just painted mine (which are cheap wood) w/siding paint and they looks AWESOMETASTIC!
    It's great for ppl who can't afford to upgrade.

  11. Funny that I feel the same way about my kitchen cabinets and I also put the exact pulls on that you have in the pic.

  12. I just found this, and feel as if you read my mind! Also can't believe this stuff is still popular, more than 2 years later.
    And I am NOT going to paint my oak cabinets!

  13. This was just the comic relief I needed to regroup & carry on with my remodel. Thanks for the great blog!

  14. While I'm finding your blog post over 3-1/2 years later ~ I must chime in and tell you that you are spot on! As far as the oak cabinets...we sold our home several years ago that had Pennsylvania Dutch custom cabinets finished in a soft frosted oak. They were beautiful; I loved that kitchen. The new owners, at their "designer's" suggestion, had those lovely cabinets painted bright blue. Bright stinkin' blue! So...yes, you are 100% correct about some of the things people to do kitchen cabinets and vintage furniture when they have more ideas than actual taste. (Disclaimer: there are some painted pieces that are absolutely stunning.)

  15. I was looking for ways to up-date my GOLDEN OAK cabinets, I've not the heart to do anything to these beauties, except change hardware for the 3rd time in 12 years, I got here to this page and LAUGHEDHARDOUTLOUD! Thank you!!!

  16. Dear lady, you left out shiny brass. We have purchased another home that has upscale, beautiful, shiny brass fixtures in most of the bathrooms. I refuse to replace them because they are not "in style". Gold type finishes will never go away...think picture frames for example. Instead I am adding other pretty brass objects including candlesticks, mini brass clock collection, brass tray and more to the bathroom, watch how pretty it will be with black towels. If you start replacing brass faucets, the drain plug has to go and the toilet flush handle and the hinges and the doorknobs....towel bars...etc. I say, embrace the brass. LR


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